Episode 25 - Balancing Act of Dads | Work/Life Balance, Spiritual Leadership

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are we rolling rolling I think audio is rolling and everything yeah hang on a second for our

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Audio Only uh audience out there you have a dad burn construction vest on this is a

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safety vest yeah a safety vest it is safety vest uh commonly associated with

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construction sites yeah I think this is our first uh safety vest guest

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appearance here on faith and Frames well you want to explain yourself sir yeah there's a there's a

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underlying metaphor slash theme there and I missed the memo apparently because I'm just it was my own thought and and I

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wish there was a way for me to like sprung it on you like during the episode but I I rehearsed how to even do that

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and then you went back to the waffle making episode and I was like you know what I can't actually do that so I'm just going to start from from uh

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Inception with this thing on but when you mention like hey

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uh we need to do an episode kind of dad focused husband focused

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right you requested by the way you requested I was like oh man that sounds fun because Listen by no means do I have

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it figured out but right I can share my fair uh fair share of mistakes hopefully

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you know help somebody along the way but it got me to thinking of like you know the song He's still working on me to

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make me what I ought to be little youth group Diddy little youth group Diddy well I was like dang I going wear a

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construction vest because I'm still a dad and a father in construction like I'm under construction very fitting very

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nice yeah well I don't know maybe nobody else will get it listen between that my Ben Jesus shirt that right there is your

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two things you need to know like you're never you're never complete you're always going to be learning and and you

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know trying to to get better at this thing called life and uh the only way

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you're going to do that to Jesus thirdly we are not at any point in time claiming

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to be life coaches uh yeah I'd probably be considered the exact opposite which

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is funny because we've been doing some self-discovery lately and we are an inogram to for any of those who follow

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the inag system sometimes twos think we can fix everything yeah twos think that we can

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fix everything whether yeah whether we can or can't most time we can't even fix ourselves well no I'm a I'm a absolute

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mess I'll go ahead and tell you that so again full disclaimer everything that we're about to talk about on this episode we are not life coaches do not

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sue us if our words between the anagram and the wing dive uh yeah coupled with

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the disc assessment yeah yeah there's been a lot of like had some self-discovery self- evaluation and

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learning uh in the last two weeks which is kind of cool it is it's been fun it's

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uh because anyr before we went through the Rebrand right I had not been privy

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I'd heard of it um you know I've heard people talk about it but I never been really turned onto the details of it um

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and then when whenever we finally did the assessment with Brianna um and we've talked to a few others about it since

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I'm like nope it's pretty much got me figured out yep has me figured out yeah

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uh and then we were guests on a podcast a few weeks ago or a week ago however long entrepren where shout out John West

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yeah Bonnie Bonnie is an inag coach y so I we probably didn't even need to tell her

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I don't think we did she she figured out she was like oh dude this is a 21 and think Garrett's a 2 three yep she knew

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she knew she knew and and yeah it's kind of funny how all that works together uh one cool thing about it though I'll say

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this is like I had my wife take it the disc assessment as did die

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and we have a lot of similarities which is is kind of weird because you would think opposite to trct and I think for

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most they do but uh we have a lot of similarities which is I think the coolest thing with that

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particular dis assessment as well as some of the the resources out there on how to like interpret the data

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understand it a little deeper um it's kind of cool because it's like it it kind of shows like this way is how this

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person will commonly react under stress yes yeah uh these are some blind spots

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that this particular type of person uh is going to uh be privy to um and then

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on the other thing on the other side it kind of gives some tips on like how to deal with these people like how to help

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these people be successful whatever how to interact with them so it's like okay this is this could be useful yes uh it's

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kind of like the love well I'm going to liken it to like the love language uh test that I think all uh couples should

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probably do yes um I think there's like five love languages and and it ranks

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based upon how you answer what you're gifting service touch physical yes all these things and uh it's funny to see

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it's like oh so you prefer

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this uh like Words of Affirmation and and and these things it's like it all can help be a tool to better serve your

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uh your partner um once you understand kind of what what makes them tick in

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things yeah as opposed to just getting frustrated because they're not just like you yeah which is common it is common it

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is common but hey I'm thankful for the tools that we have at our disposal now to help us navigate This Thing Called

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Life today per viewer request this viewer will remain anonymous but let us

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reassure you that we appreciate the feedback yeah we're going to try our best to give our perspective on a few

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elements of the dad that that as dads I think we've got some some

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information and we've got experience there nonethe least or you know uh at at at the very least so I'm not saying it's

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the right experience but we got experience or even advice

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but what do you call it when a snowman ignores

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you getting iced oh that's not bad a cold shoulder ah duh tack on which

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just kind of I mean a snowman doesn't really have shoulders but you know it works it works welcome back to Faith and

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frames again just Garrett and I uh per viewer request which honestly is I think

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that's exciting in and of itself that that a listener and a viewer was like Hey like to hear a little more about

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this uh that's uh that's always great when it's viewer Le viewer Le again

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we're going to attempt to oblige yeah first let's thank our sponsor sponsors of today's episode

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none other than animals west of Greenville Tennessee at animals West your pets are our passion our dedicated

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team offers personalized care Advanced treatments and a warm loving environment because at animals West yeah every tale

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tells a story Tony Amanda and the crew down on the Newport Highway thank you

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for sponsoring this episode of faith and Frames taking care of these animals taking care of these animals here at motion Creative Media and I'm talking

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about you and I yeah that's us we're the we're the stinky wet dogs absolutely

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meet and ters get us the meet and ters this morning yeah so Dad uh and the struggles associated with Dad which you

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know in a lot of cases uh dad also means husband so we've got some experience in both of those uh we're going to

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share sort of our experiences and and what we've learned uh prob Poss a

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few different points we do have a few points we got a few points like you know maybe we've not learned what uh maybe

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we've not made our light bulb just yet like to to be Edison but we're working on the 99 things that you don't do what

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we've learned what doesn't work and before we get bered and blasted in the comments um I just want to go ahead and

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put this out there I as a dad do about one tenth of the job my wife

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does in the in the parenting world in the parenting yes yeah um specifically parenting so before we get bered um just

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know moms we recognize that you you carry the load when it comes to the the

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family equation oh that the put that on record that reel that pops up periodically it's like

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um it' be the the family Dynamic like when you're getting ready to go to church it's like all the list of tasks

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that your wife completes dad took a poop and and took a show took a poop and took a shower and it's like okay are y'all not

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ready you guilty guilty there um those are about the two things I've I've

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accomplished this morning on our journey to to the Lord's House it happens so yeah I just want to throw that disclaimer out there but Jared um let's

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hop into Point number one I know that a lot of and and especially guys our age

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you know we're in our 30s um so we're in a demographic of of males that are still you know quotequote trying to go out

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every single day and and you know provide financially for the family put in the work to to keep a roof over the

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heads um and keep food in the mouths but I know one thing that and whether you're

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an employee whether you're a small business owner what have you um the work

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life balance is typically a factor that comes into play with a a family Dynamic

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whether it be husband to wife or father to to kids the work life balance I think is one big point that I know I

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personally struggle with um I'm sure I'm not the only dad out there or husband that struggles with this but what are

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some things that that maybe we've learned through having to to try to strike a work life balance that you know

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could help somebody yeah I'm going to hesitate to use the word learned because again I think I'm still learning still

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yeah still walking that say learned thus far um I I think it stri or it stems

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from just I mean honestly when I say there's a burden I I don't know that maybe anybody

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other than other dads can understand what I mean when I say there is a burden yeah to provide a a an urge and just a

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weight and a stress that comes with needing to provide whether you're

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the Sole Provider or not that's that's that's not the point like it's in our nature in in a lot of cases to to

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provide and so the way that we do that is through some sort of work yeah

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you know so that we can provide financially which ultimately provides with food Water Shelter all these things

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right it sustains life and and so the the difficult thing to do is like okay

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if you look at a day even if you take like the Henry Ford 888 like eight hours

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of sleep eight hours work you know uh eight hours of life so to speak like

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it's that's not what normally happens first off no it's pretty 6 hours of

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sleep if you're lucky yeah if you're lucky you're probably 8 to 12 and some sort of uh some sort of work envir

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environment and so that leaves a very very small amount of time per day to to

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to be the family figure that you need to be be it husband be it father and so it's it's really difficult because like

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you can it's easy to justify in our heads like I need to do

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this so that I can provide yeah um but it's it's also the The Catch 22 of that

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is like because I'm doing all this and because I'm providing I'm missing out on

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some of these things and so like there's guilt and a burden that is really difficult to explain to someone who's not a dad very true and well and I think

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even as dads you know one one thing that helps me at least is I have

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to and this is like a daily thing because again I struggle with work life balance at times um and and that's just

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you know conditioned from you know previous Industries previous upbringing like I've been conditioned I think

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you've been conditioned too to like you know be a hard worker be a ative M ofet etc etc but what I have to

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do on a daily basis is I have to almost redefine what providing provision looks

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like for my family you know the obviously there's the providing of you know finances uh to whatever degree to

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help keep the household moving forward as far as keep a roof over the head keep groceries in the fridge but then there's

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those other Provisions that if are lacking my family suffers you know that

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that other provision that I have to give to my family is my time they need me and you mentioned this off camera you know

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there's there's especially when you have young kids um you know my oldest is six

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my middle is five my youngest is two yours are three and and one three and

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one so at this moment in time their biggest view of what we provide is time

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yeah now they know that they live in a house they know that there's yogurt in the bottom fridge drawer when they go

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get a animal's yogurt they don't know how it gets there nor do they care they just know it's there um they don't

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understand what it took to get there so right now their only view their only lens of provision

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is how much time am I getting with Dad I think of the Jamie Johnson The Dollar

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yeah there's a song about that uh and it's it's pretty good it's pretty good

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literally I I I I like the story that it paints but it's uh if you've not heard it you should it's it's a good it's a

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good listen but uh I'll go ahead and give you the gist of it basically the uh the kid wonders why his dad walks out

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the door every day and goes to work for 8 10 12 hours and then comes back and you know the mom's like well he he does

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that so that he can get money because they pay him for his time and D so then he goes he gets the thinking he goes to

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his piggy bank and he's like I've got 35 cents or whatever it is he's like how much time will this buy me yeah you know

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because here ultimately he ends up getting a dollar MH and uh mom calls Dad

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at work he's like hey you can come home your kids's got kids's got a dollar you know like he he he's he's he can buy

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your time essentially and so that there's a couple things that I unpack when I hear that it's like okay the kid

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wants to spend time with yes with Dad Dad wants to spend time with kid but he knows that the only way he can keep roof

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and Provisions and everything else is to work um and you know it's it's it's one

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of those things where where trying to find that balance is really tough esecially like in in our case we both

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essentially work from home unless we're on a production of sorts right um you know we're we're able to do that with

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the the line of work that we have which is is is really a blessing like it's nice to be able to to to work at the

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house and to to be productive and and work towards a goal but at the same time like when your kids are also there they

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can't distinguish home and work right it's it's two places for for for you and I

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and that's going to be the same for anybody who works from home but like having to draw that separation is something that a kid can't do it's like

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well D's here yeah which means he he's available yeah why can't he play well he's here yes he's physically here

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but he he he needs to do this right now and so that's a balance that I'm still currently trying to work through and I

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guess the kids probably won't understand it until they get older um but it still it doesn't make that hurt any less for

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us you know and I'm sure obviously that hurts for them too because I mean straight up my son will ask me sometimes

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why don't you just come shoot ball with me for 10 minutes yeah you know 10 minutes um and so that's where again I

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have to at least as as a you know work from home at times um compartmentalize

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what it means to provide now it's a whole another level for somebody who is actually going to a a workplace yeah and

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if I try to put myself in that person's shoes one thing that I can say again

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helps me um let's just say let's say I treat my working from home as me going to let's just say a factory um and I'm

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there for those eight hours yeah that means when I get home from my eight hour shift my provision hat turns into that

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time yeah um and again and I try to do this with even with Cole especially

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because Cole's start starting to understand more that oh no if Dad's home that means we can go play basketball you

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know he thinks he understands so I have to help him understand like once I'm done with this you're going to get all

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of daddy right you know because the the thing that hurts me is okay let's say I do take that 10 minutes at that single

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point in time and go shoot ball I then have to put an end to the fun because I got Daddy's got to get back to work so

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I'm like Co if you'll just give me you know another hour um at that point in time I can take the work hat off yeah

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and I can put the time hat on and and you've got all of daddy yeah so I would say especially for dads out there that

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are you know let's say you are going to a physical location maybe you don't have to bring your work home with you and if

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you don't I envy you you know one one thing that we have a disadvantage of is

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well our work is at home and and as business owners to a degree I always have work on my mind yeah um so if you

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don't have to bring your work home yeah let let's let's look at what providing looks like to our children yeah from the

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time aspect they just want time with you right you know they don't they don't care nor do they know uh how tired we

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are at times that's that's that's another thing that's another level of it though like there's a bit of of guilt uh

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that comes with that particular thing it's like it it's almost as

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if in society you know we we need we need to have we need to have jobs so that we can

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pay bills and all these things right like it's it's part of the whole society and the issue with that is a lot of

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times your work hours are going to be your uh your first of the day like

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you're going to wake up in most cases and then go to work and so like what is kind of a bummer is your kids and your your your

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your family essentially gets what's left of the day yes which is which it's it's not fair to them and it's not you know

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it's it's just it it does it it truly sucks it's like man I am stressed from

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the day I exhausted from the day my kid doesn't know and understand that all

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they know is they want some time with Daddy right maybe you've even got a headache whatever but it's all a result

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of the work that got your best effort right it got your your highest level of

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energ and efficiency and output it's like it sucks that the people you care about the most get the least yeah they

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get they literally get the remainder yeah right before you go to bed to start it again the next day so that's

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something that I personally struggle with is like man they are they're literally getting the the not the worst

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of me but they're getting what's left of me you know um and so that's that's

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another thing that I I personally struggle with that I've not yet found a way to I've been trying to to make

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myself essentially because it's kind of what you have to do you got you got to push through it you just got to realize

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like look it's not your kid's fault that you had a stressful day at work

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you had a long 10 hour day on your feet they still need you to be to to be dad

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and husband right now yeah and so you've you've just got a maybe it's the sports

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uh background in me like push through the pain you've got to push through like you've just got to find it well again

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I'm I'm speaking to me when I say that oh yeah I don't do it every time there are days where I pretty well come home

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and sit down I mean and I'm beat I'm beat um but I I see the disappointment in my

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kids's eyes when it's like when they're trying to get you to do something and you're like no no no I just don't have it in the tank today baby um yeah that's

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that's a that's a struggle and I'll say this I I don't have that figured out that's something that I currently

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constantly trying to get better at yeah like if somebody has a bag of that that I can you know pick up and and start

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chewing on I'll I'll be glad to partake but we're actively actively learning

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it's not as simple as like well you know pound of coffee and get some energy like it's there's just you know there's

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struggle there yeah there's struggling and again I think so as as dads as a

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collective one practical thing that all of us all of us dads on this Earth can

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can number one do is just try to be conscious of it be be conscious of the

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fact that hey no they're not the reason you had a bad day at work yeah they're not the reason that you're tired um and

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all they want when when you step through the door is just a little bit of Daddy's time and I would venture so far as to

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say they probably can't tell if you're fake in the fact that you have energy when you don't like they just they just

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want you they want you physically there and to be invested in what they like the other thing and maybe this is just

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personal uh you can either uh agree or or or disagree here but like the other

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thing that I struggle with like even even once the kids get to bed and it's just you know me and Cara there she has

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spent the day because she she stays at home with the kids she has spent the day

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with three-year-old and a one-year-old yep she's had zero essentially adult

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interaction throughout the entire day so conversationally she's not had any adult

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conversation feedback or anything and so here's the thing again going back to the crappiness of the way that the schedule

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breaks down this doesn't happen for us until like 9:00 yeah I nor try to go to bed 10 10:30 y so I mean literally it's

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the last hour of my waking day and if I've had a day where like maybe I've had

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to be a lot more energetic with with uh a production or

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like I have peopled out today you're out of words it sucks when my wife sits down

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and and is wanting to talk to me and I just I feel so bad looking back on those

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times where it's like I've just not had it you know I'm not I'm talked out and

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it's not fair to her it's it's not it's not fair to her that I'm just got

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nothing in the tank and so those are times where again you just got

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to I don't know somehow find it and I don't do a great job of find it again at

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least at least put it put on the ACT uh which a lot of times too even with like

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Sarah you know we're in a similar situation she was a stay-at home for a long time now she's working a public job

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again she's a preschool teacher right same thing though I mean all day long she has 15 or so three year olds y as

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her interaction um very minimal adult interaction throughout the day unless she's running ideas by another teacher

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yeah um so whenever she gets home yeah I think sometimes they yearn for that adult conversation like I said I do I I

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I would right here on I do a poor job I'm very poopy at it sometimes and and in being that that that my wife needs

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right then this is again I've it sucks I don't know how to fix it but like your

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family ends up in a lot of cases getting what's left yeah yeah and I think I think again just going back at least for

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me one thing that I have to constantly do is remind myself okay what does provision actually look like you know

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provision for my wife whenever she gets home from a long day from a tough day um

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and then whenever I get home or whether I've been at home all day and I'm drained what does provision look like

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for her probably just somebody that will actively listen yeah um and and be

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interested in the things that happened to her that day yeah um because we all want to talk about ourselves oh yeah um

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I want to tell her all the things that I've had to experience that day but right again going back to the scale of

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things I can openly admit that I probably do uh a little bit a little bit

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less draining work at times sometimes more draining but sometimes she just wants me to listen and at that point in

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time that's provision that's providing for her and that's not related to a dollar that's not related to work but

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that's what she needs yeah which is also I'll just go ahead and speak personally that's difficult for me because and we

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talked about this on the the podcast with John or with John and Bonnie it's like

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immediately the way that I'm wired when someone's venting to me telling me about

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a problem that they experienced or whatever like my mind immediately goes into oh I've got the

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fix Yep they're not asking for fix jar we're INR twos though and that's what we do we

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want to help like unfortunately I I probably I probably hand a lot of unsolicited uh Jared fix advice to a lot

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of people who aren't asking for it don't want it don't need it just because it's like that's what I want to do is help

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people and fix and that's that's that's another thing that's difficult uh for me

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it has presented itself very recently uh in mine and Sarah's marriage

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which is I'm going to tell this story and she's going to kill me but I think it's hilarious again we've been doing

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these you know introspective Dives on you know our our personality types and I've had Sarah take a couple of

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different assessments obviously me and you have done disc and and the inogram and everything but we were we were

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making sourdough yeah um at the house the other day I think everybody's in their sourdough phase right now

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and there's a step in the process for making sourdough at least now in the

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modern era because we have technology yeah um there's a step that involves putting the bowl of dough into the

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microwave with the wet towel over it and the microwave light on which means you have to leave the door cracked yeah as a

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two and as uh my other personality type from this other assessment it it drove

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me absolutely Bonk ERS the fact that I had to remove the bowl and put my coffee

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into the microwave each time I needed to heat my coffee back up yeah well to use the microwave for its fut to use it for

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what its functionality is um and so I took the bowl put it in the oven I was like Hey the oven's got space too it's

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not being used right now I would dare say I'm not going to heat my coffee up in the oven just yet um so I was like oh

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this is a great idea I can fix this problem that I am seeing present itself in this workflow right now

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um Sarah comes in the kitchen ask where the sourdough went I said it's in the oven she said why is it in the oven well

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it wasn't being used and I need the microw bingo I said babe I was like the you know I'm actively here heting my

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coffee yeah frequently more frequent than like pulling the bread in and out and uh she said yeah but you know the

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instructions said let's leave the microwave light on I was like I get that but I can fix this I can fix this

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process Yeah by putting it in another space that the same as the space that you're putting in she's like no no no

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you don't understand it said do it in the microwave it said do it in the microwave and I don't need you to fix this yeah this is a this is a process

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proven process that I trust yeah and and we're going to go by the process and and

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instantly my my deficiency came out in the problem solving and I was like okay

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fair enough yeah what about the Egyptians yeah what microwave did they

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put their sourdough in with the light on what about the the the French who are

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the masters of bread right what did they do before the whirlpool got installed or

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the Samsung yeah whatever Mak her make so we had this big debate yeah about

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that and then I stepped back you know after that and I was like no no I didn't

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need to fix that you know because and she made a great point and I was like it got me she's like really she's like I

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have to use the microwave one day out of the week to make this bread she's like can you not like accept

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not having the microwave for you know a few hours one day per week and I was like dang it that's a pretty good point

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and it's again a process that she trusted she didn't need me to fix it but

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my my personality type was like no I got to fix this I know a better way hey maybe maybe a compromise is is finding

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some sort of window I don't know how long your microwave phase takes but like maybe finding it in a situation in a in

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a case where it's not commonly needed for its microwave functionality yeah I

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don't I don't what that time looks like I don't know either we've not we've not done the data on that have to run some

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tests run some tests hey that's that's what souro is trial and error oh it's all trial and air and I guess too I mean

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I could probably just make a fresher pot of coffee each time I need coffee I don't know yeah but going back to going

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back to like provision and and things that she needs like that was just a situation of like she didn't need me to fix yeah whatever the problem was no

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different then whenever they come home they don't need us to go into fixing mode no um nine times out of 10 now

29:57

sometimes they are looking for an answer to the problem at which has a two anyr 2 I'm like got no shortage of those sweet

30:04

I've got all I've got all the solutions for all the problems and guess what if that one don't work let's hear about it again and I I got five more ready one

30:11

got five more in the tank yeah um so yeah I think again going back to my main point for these you know these couple of

30:16

ideas here let's redefine what provision looks like yeah um it's not always you

30:22

know Daddy's got to go to work and make a billion dollars so we can have you know a Ferrari and three ponies and $6

30:28

and five kids um sometimes provision is just time maybe from from you to the

30:33

kiddos provision you know from us to our Our Ladies sometimes just a good

30:38

listening ear yeah um but I think there's a an even greater an even

30:44

greater provision burden that we can probably you know wrap up with once

30:49

we're done with this idea and that is our spiritual provision um to our family

30:55

so this encompasses the wife and the kids in in ourselves and our relationship with Jesus too yeah I mean

31:01

not to I mean it's not like we're you know we've got this old archaic view of

31:08

like patriarch and and and women in the roles and what that's not what it is but

31:14

like you know there is a Biblical uh leadership you know head of the household type type thing that that

31:22

uh you know we also have a burden and struggle with and and and try and and be

31:27

be the leader of the household cuz I and I I think I mentioned it off camera but like I guess a poor example would be I

31:36

could spend my entire life making sure that every need of my

31:43

kids and my wife are met right roof F food all these things like they never

31:48

went hungry all these things and that's some level of at least Earthly success

31:55

but if I have not LED in a way that has shown the path to

32:02

Salvation right and they don't go to heaven well then it's it's all been for not yeah yeah none of that none of that

32:09

matters that's that's all yes vanity as Solomon vanity and vanity right that's what Solomon says and um so yeah there

32:17

is a burden to to even lead spiritually and I'll be the first to tell

32:23

you if I stack myself up against what the Bible says is is is a

32:29

good leader of the house I fall short in a lot of areas oh yeah 90% of the time get it wrong uh got it wrong last week

32:37

got it wrong today guess what I'll probably get it wrong tomorrow yeah um but if you're striving to be that

32:44

example yeah and you're striving to to to have the appropriate list of

32:50

priorities ultimately it's going to be it's going to be okay but that's a that's another that's a whole another

32:56

that might be its own episode but like that's a that's a tough one well yeah and if we're if we're putting things on

33:01

the totem pole you know the the top of the totem pole it has to be our relationship uh with Jesus um

33:08

again as as heads of the household and going back to defining what provision is

33:14

yeah um if if we don't have that relationship number one how in the world can we show our family right a a how to

33:23

guide you know with this with a spiritual relationship yeah if you don't have that in order it's kind of like like

33:28

um I don't know I guess it would be similar to uh you know you wouldn't take

33:34

you probably wouldn't take parenting advice from someone who you can tell on the outside looking in is not getting it

33:41

done right or they might not even be a parent or they might not even be a parent like uh no like there's a it's

33:47

like those are words those are words great um but like if if if you're if

33:53

you're getting that first step right mhm it makes the other steps easier or at least trying I mean that's the thing is

34:00

as Believers we understand we're not going to get it right yeah um there are moments in time where we are like

34:06

getting closer to getting things right yeah but if if we're not at least trying um not at least striving for that again

34:12

I don't think we can lay out the road map um even for our family well so I

34:18

I'll give you I guess an easy example of of trying and and making the effort

34:24

because you know I I I think I think going to church is not because like it's a a prerequisite to get into heaven but

34:31

like it's I personally need that

34:37

adult Elder interaction of of just Believers like I love mentors yeah

34:44

mentors and and and and the learning and and the discussions that you know you have with with church members and things

34:50

like that so but I also understand like especially as as a as a business owner

34:56

as a father like time you know to get to church can be difficult but I I will say

35:01

this it is it is a th% worth digging deeper than you thought

35:07

your tank existed to get to church and to make that extra effort because the

35:12

other day it was a

35:18

Monday I was getting ready to uh it was in the evening and it was getting dark

35:25

it was already dark was getting ready to go to a shoot or something so I was getting some clothes on and and and uh

35:32

getting packed and everything and and reys said Daddy Church MH you know

35:38

that's what she was telling Cara and you know we explain like no Daddy's Daddy's going to work she said no Daddy church

35:44

and uh I was like well if I've got nothing else right

35:50

it seems as though to my three-year-old she knows that if I'm leaving the house

35:56

at this time there's a chance that he's going to church y now she doesn't understand any of those things

36:02

again she's 3 years old and she's behind developmentally and all these things like she doesn't get under like

36:08

understand why yeah but but she knows but she knows you know like this is this is a

36:14

priority in my Dad's life um so again and not I get everything else wrong so

36:20

if I I guess maybe that's the only thing I've done right um but I think she does understand though because she she's at

36:26

least seeing the fact that it's important to Daddy which means well that's yeah that's ultimately what I'm trying to say yeah it it means it's

36:32

important enough that I need to remind daddy that hey this is important for you daddy like we got to we got to get on this because I know it's important to

36:38

you because you've you know shown me through example yeah that it's important see I think I think definitely making an

36:44

effort um to to get the kiddos and the family out of the church again it's not because the church is a perfect place

36:49

where per perfect people go Lord no um it's actually a a building where a lot of imperfect people go uh well actually

36:56

everybody in there there go that you go 100% of are imperfect um so but I think again like

37:02

you say it's it's great to have that spiritual interaction uh with other

37:08

people um who are just striving to that's that's probably one of my biggest

37:15

uh piece if I have any advice at all for someone listening it would probably be

37:22

in the space of like look find you a group yep at your church

37:30

yep if you don't have a church find a church come to our church get in get get

37:35

involved and so here's the thing like if you just kind of sit if you just kind of sit on the bench so to speak if you

37:41

don't ever put yourself in the game I I'll use a Sports Illustration like if you're just sitting on the bench on the

37:48

sideline might not get too much out of it but if you put any sort of effort into finding that small group that that

37:56

Elder who you look up to who's walked these paths before again you need to be

38:01

finding people who are ahead of you in some facet that way you can learn from

38:07

them and and and you know hopefully avoid some of the mistakes that they made um but find a group at your church

38:16

of of other fathers and share these things yeah

38:21

because there's there is a lot of freedom and power that comes from open L

38:27

discussing the things that I can assure you other dads go through and understand we all fall short on you know and even

38:34

if you have these conversations with your wife that's great but you know they're going to see it from a different perspective they see it through a

38:39

different lens they're going to see it through a different lens and and maybe they understand maybe they don't I mean I know they do and they try no different

38:45

than we try but but I don't think we ever fully understand each other I can never understand completely my wife's

38:50

perspective on things um and just a disclaimer the moment you try to tell

38:56

the other person that you understand where they're at yeah you lose a lot of credibility there you lose a lot of credibility because again we will never

39:02

fully understand on either side yeah um what the other ones dealing with or going through but there is there really

39:07

is a lot of I found a whole whole whole lot of of of help and freedom with

39:14

discussing uh issues and and and just things that you struggle with and and um

39:21

things that you're going through because again you're probably not the only one that's going through them but when you

39:27

have other people who you know you look up to and you can respect and trust you

39:32

start to build those relationships there's a there's a lot of power and ultimately I guess you could

39:38

say healing that can come from those situations so that'd be if I have any advice for anybody find a church yeah

39:45

get get involved with a good group with a good group of of people that you look up to yeah good practical application um

39:52

so just to kind of round off and and summarize you know this this episode and

39:58

again we appreciate um this particular listener for bringing this to our attention um and hopefully we've said

40:04

something that's landed even a minuscule amount because we're still figuring it out we're still learning as we go again

40:11

I'm a dad of three you're a dad of two I do not claim to be a professional no I'm

40:16

probably will never claim to be a professional but I do have things that I've learned and that I am still

40:22

learning yeah um and I think for me so your practical application was let's let's get into to these groups let's

40:28

find some people who we can you know have some common ground with yeah I think my practical application again is

40:34

let's let's look at what provision actually means yeah that's true I don't think that it is all hey Daddy's got to

40:40

go to work and come home so you can eat yeah um that's a aspect of it an aspect of it probably a very small aspect or

40:48

should be that we make a whole lot bigger yeah um than the important things I think number one importance obviously

40:53

is that spiritual provision yeah um our relationship that we can then help lay the road map for our family and

40:59

he' be leading by example there secondly go ahead no I if you're

41:05

not I mean well you're you're going to be leading by some sort of example say some some example good or bad secondly

41:11

um I would say that the practical application would be just the time thing yeah um most of the time all they want

41:19

is time yeah well I'll say this too like and I can look back in a lot of uh

41:26

historical uh and I normally can't see it while I'm

41:31

in it and so like it's it's one of those things like hindsight being 2020 in retrospect you can look back at a

41:36

situation where maybe it was a tough time in the family maybe you and your wife uh weren't as close as you had been

41:44

or whatever normally I can look back truthfully and see oh I had I had things out of line in

41:54

the priority like I was not I was not making Christ a priority right guess

42:01

what was negatively impacted as a result of that so yeah no one knowing making a

42:07

conscious effort to constantly keep those priorities in line and and oftentimes truly if you would do a a

42:14

reasonably Deep dive into a past period where maybe you did have issues I'll

42:19

I'll bet you you look back and you're like no I wasn't I didn't have it right

42:24

at the top say it's probably a priority chain thing so then you're like oh well yeah it makes sense yeah as to why I was

42:30

having these issues um so yeah those would be my takeaways very cool I don't

42:36

know if a single word we said made a bit of sense only time will tell only time

42:42

will tell uh yeah this one was cool though uh a a listener requested topic

42:49

we ask for feedback every episode every time uh so yeah on that note yeah any

42:54

feedback yeah very appreciative um hey it's also I am a type to so like it's

43:01

nice to hear that something something's helping something was helping so like if

43:06

there a big big Capital if there uh if it did help in some way let us know um

43:13

that would mean the world to us yeah that'd be cool that'd be cool on that note Jared um here's the hard part yeah

43:21

uh well we'll catch you guys next Monday all right see you in the next one see you bye